EVERY now and then I come across a person who seems to have missed a basic social memo.
The social memo says:
– NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU AS MUCH AS YOU CARE ABOUT YOURSELF –
So Just Shut Up.
When you find yourself crossing paths with a “missed-the-social-memo” person, you’ll know it. If you’ve missed the social memo, you won’t. Because you missed the memo. I hate people who have missed this memo. I have diagnosed these people with I-Itis [eye-eye-tis].
Classic symptoms of the disorder may unclude:
– Inability to stay focused and genuinely interested in a conversation if it is not completely centered or at least related to them.
– An obvious tendency to re-direct a conversation back to themselves. This will usually be done with a competing story, feeling, experience or opinion.
– Going off on a tangent about their thoughts, feelings and experiences when you didn’t even ask.
– When they are not speaking, they will clearly show they are waiting for their turn to speak. If you don’t get the chance, they will almost certainly butt in and cut you off.
– They will rarely ask you how you are, and if they do, it will be obvious by their change of subject that they don’t really care.
– An inability to gauge the interest levels of the person they are speaking at.
When in the company of one of these people, you will find yourself feeling drained and bored. This is normal because you want to talk about yourself too. Everybody does. The difference is, most people get that, and they’re able to balance the fine line of give/take in a conversation. Somebody with I-itis is unable to do that.
You probably know one or two of these people. I urge you to understand I-itis is contagious. There is a chance that in surrounding yourself with people who talk about themselves constantly, you will unintentionally develop the disorder yourself. In order to prevent this, it’s absolutely paramount you stay vigilant in your social awareness. Be alert, not alarmed etc.
I know it’s hard, but I encourage you to exercise a little bit of compassion towards people with this disorder. You need to understand it isn’t entirely their fault. It’s basically the equivalent of getting angry with a person who has Tourette’s for being too loud. And we all got the social memo where it’s wrong to judge and make fun of disabled people, right?*
*Not everyone got that.
** I may have to admit to being one of those people.
If, despite your new found understanding of the disorder, you still find yourself unable to exercise compassion and resist the urge to reach across the table and slap some sense into the person…well…just do it. At least it will give them something actually interesting to talk about to the next person they verbally rape*.
*Totes missed the memo that said it’s inappropriate to joke about rape.
**No I didn’t, I just ignored it…because I’m retarded.
***See, I did miss the memo about making fun of disabilities.
It's like fundamentalism without 'da mental' part 